The NFL is America’s most respected and profitable professional sports league. The NFL considers itself the benchmark of class and professionalism.
Here’s a classy precedent as of JULY 24th, 2014:
- Josh Gordon tests positive for cannabis = 16 game suspension
- Justin Blackmon arrested for cannabis possession = Indefinite Suspension
- Brandon Browner tests positive for cannabis in legal state = Indefinite Suspension
Ray Rice arrested for felony assault of his fiancée = 2-game Suspension
The “action to consequence” list above explicitly shows how the NFL views women. Since this doesn’t need any explanation or commentary, I’m going to transition directly into the jokes and sarcasm.
*Disclaimer: The following are not intended to make light of violence or assaulting women. The following is based upon real NFL policy and precedent. Think about this next time you watch an NFL game (or watch your husband sit in front of the TV the entire Sunday)
Sample SAT or Wonderlic Test question (this is a test the NFL gives quarterback to test their intelligence):
Q. The NFL regular season consists of 16 games. Josh’s smokes some cannabis on Saturday. His boss finds out 2 weeks later and suspends for 16 games. Meanwhile, 400 miles away, Ray has a bad day at work and punches his wife in the face 4 times. His boss finds out about it 3 days later and suspends him for 2 games. How much more trouble did Josh get into than Ray?
A. 8x. The NFL considers using cannabis 8 x worse than beating a woman.
Sample MasterCard commercial:
Legally purchased joint – $8.00
1 Year Suspension – $1,287,000.00
Paying attorneys and publicists to repair your image for using cannabis – $345,000.00
Being a giant man, getting mad, letting your fiancée really have it and getting slapped on the hand….PRICELESS.
There are some things the NFL won’t tolerate, beating women is not one of them.
Sample Nursery Rhyme:
Dante was drinking, out in Miami,
While driving home, his car went whammy,
He thought to himself, “I just hit a skunk”,
“Or an old Cuban, F it, I’m drunk.
NFL Commish said Dante would pay,
The cost was 1 year with no play.
And the NFL has harsher penalties for using cannabis than beating women and murdering people.
My Question for the NFL:
What will the punishment be if Michael Sam, the first openly gay player, beats up his boyfriend or husband?
While no one knows the answer to this question, we do know that the punishment will be at least 8x worse if Michael Sam tests positive for cannabis.
The NFL should be ashamed and embarrassed of itself. What a joke.
By: Daniel Macris, founder and ceo of Halcyon Organics.
© 2014 Halcyon Organics